DC's BEST Downtown Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review (You WON'T Believe This!)
DC's Holiday Inn Express: You Won't Believe What I Found (And Almost Lost!) - A REALLY Detailed Review
Alright, listen up, fellow travelers! This isn't your grandma's sterile hotel review. I'm talking real experiences – the good, the bad, the slightly horrifying – from a recent stay at a Holiday Inn Express in downtown DC (and yes, it’s supposed to be a "best" one). Buckle up, because this is gonna be a long ride. Consider this less a review and more a therapy session… for my sanity, after what I went through.
The Backstory (Because Every Good Story Needs One):
I was in DC for a conference – the kind where you’re supposed to network and pretend you know what you’re doing. Needed a place central, relatively affordable, and, let's be honest, clean – the basic trifecta. Holiday Inn Express downtown seemed to fit the bill. I’d heard whispers of its… charm. Now, I know what you're thinking: Holiday Inn Express? Groundbreaking? Nope. This review, however, is groundbreaking, because the experience was… well, let's just say it left a mark.
(Rambling Warning: Reader Discretion Advised)
Okay, deep breath. Let's dive in, shall we? I'm gonna go in order. Sort of. My brain works like a puppy chasing a squirrel, so bear with me.
Accessibility: (Mostly Okay, But Hold on to Your Hat)
- Wheelchair Accessible: Website said it was. And yeah, there were ramps and elevators. So, check that box.
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: I didn’t use any, but the website also promised accessible rooms. So far, so good.
- Elevator: Yes! Thank goodness. I’m no spring chicken.
The Arrival and First Impressions (Which Were… Mixed)
- Check-in/out [Express]: Kind of. It was fast, but… the smile on the desk clerk seemed… strained. I'm not kidding. It was like she was holding back a volcano of customer-service-induced rage.
- Contactless check-in/out: Nope. Not that I noticed. I had to actually talk to a person. In 2024! Wild, I know.
- Front desk [24-hour]: Thank goodness. Because, and you’ll find out why, I needed them.
Cleanliness and Safety (Where Things Got… Interesting)
So, this is where things took a turn from "pleasant enough" to "holy moly, what's going on here?!"
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Supposedly. I didn’t see anyone wielding hazmat suits, but I hoped the room had been properly sanitized.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: They said it.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. Good.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Promised. Let's just say, I was extremely grateful.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They appeared to be.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Praying they were used.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property: Noticed it.
- Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms: Found them. Good.
- Security [24-hour]: Yep. Which I was grateful for, given…
- Individually-wrapped food options: For the breakfast. Which was… an experience. More on that later.
- Safe dining setup: Looked okay, though the breakfast rush was… intense.
(Slightly Off-Topic… But Important): The Bathroom Incident
Okay, I need to tell you about the bathroom. It was standard, right? Decent size. But the shower… oh, the shower. First, there was a weird, musty smell. Then, the water pressure. It was like being gently misted by a particularly enthusiastic houseplant. And THEN… (and this is the important part) I, like, almost slipped and fell. No fault of the hotel, though. My clumsiness is a feature, not a bug. But it really did bring home how important the cleanliness aspect is. That's why this section is so long!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Rollercoaster Ride)
- Breakfast [buffet]: The HEART of the experience. This is where things got REAL. First, the good: they did have waffles. And I have a soft spot for waffles. Second, the slightly less good: it was insane. Elbow-to-elbow. Families everywhere. Children running amok. Breakfast chaos!
- Buffet in restaurant: Yes.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Basic. Drinkable. Needed a serious jolt of caffeine, though.
- Breakfast service: They were trying their best. Really.
- Breakfast takeaway service: They had it. Which was useful, because…
- Restaurants: Not on site, but several nearby.
- Snack bar: Didn't see one.
- Poolside bar: HA! Like there was a pool. This is DC, not Miami.
(Back to the Breakfast Battles)
The food itself? Well, let's just say, the eggs looked like they'd been sitting under a heat lamp since the dawn of time. The fruit was… questionable. I saw one guy, bless his heart, trying to carve a waffle with a plastic fork. It was like watching a comedy routine. Then, while I was trying to get more coffee, someone stole my waffle. I swear! It was a breakfast heist! I was livid. I went back to my room and had a granola bar. Honestly, it was a better experience.
Rooms, Rooms, Glorious, Messy Rooms!
- Available in all rooms: EVERYTHING! Seriously, all the usual suspects were present and accounted for.
- Air conditioning: Thank GOD. DC in the summer is brutal.
- Alarm clock: Yep.
- Bathrobes: Nope. Needed my own.
- Bathroom phone: Surprisingly, yes. Who uses these anymore?
- Bathtub: Standard. I didn’t use it, but it was there.
- Blackout curtains: Crucial. Slept like a log.
- Carpeting: Sigh.
- Closet: Adequate.
- Coffee/tea maker: Yes. Saved my sanity.
- Complimentary tea: Yes.
- Daily housekeeping: Yup. They tidied up relatively well.
- Desk: Standard. Got some work done.
- Extra long bed: Okay… that’s a plus, because the bed was actually quite comfy.
- Free bottled water: Yay!
- Hair dryer: Yep.
- High floor: Got one of those. Good view!
- In-room safe box: Nice.
- Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Wi-Fi [free]: It all worked. Hurray!
- Ironing facilities: Yes.
- Laptop workspace: Fine.
- Mini bar: Nope.
- Non-smoking: Thank goodness.
- On-demand movies: Didn't check.
- Private bathroom: Yup.
- Reading light: Yes.
- Refrigerator: Present.
- Satellite/cable channels: Standard fare.
- Seating area: Small, but functional.
- Separate shower/bathtub: My room did!
- Shower: Yes (as discussed above).
- Slippers: Nope.
- Smoke detector: Yes.
- Socket near the bed: Blessedly.
- Soundproofing: Not bad, but I could still hear the hallways.
- Telephone: Yes.
- Toiletries: Basic.
- Towels: Adequate.
- Umbrella: Nope.
- Window that opens: Yes! Sweet fresh air.
Services and Conveniences (The Less Glamorous Stuff)
- Air conditioning in public area: Absolutely.
- Business facilities, Business center, Xerox/fax in business center, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meeting stationery: Did not use.
- Cash withdrawal: Needed a quick $20.
- Concierge: Nope.
- Convenience store: I didn’t see one.
- Currency exchange: Nope.
- Daily housekeeping: Yes. Standard.
- Doorman: Nope.
- Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Ironing service: Available.
- Elevator: Necessary!
- Essential condiments: Didn’t notice.
- Facilities for disabled guests: See Accessibility.
- Food delivery: Yup.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Zeros.
- Hotel chain: Yes indeedy.
- Luggage storage: Yup.
- **
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your perfectly polished travel brochure. This is my (likely disastrous, but definitely entertaining) plan for conquering Washington D.C. whilst shackled to the comfort of the Holiday Inn Express Downtown. Prepare yourselves for some real travel chaos.
Trip Title: DC or Bust (And Probably Bust My Budget)
Hotel Base Camp: Holiday Inn Express Washington DC Downtown (God help me if the continental breakfast runs out of those weird, rubbery scrambled eggs. Seriously, a tragedy.)
Day 1: Arrival, Monuments, and Mild Panic
- Morning (Let's Call It): Arrive at Reagan National (DCA). Okay, first hurdle: navigating the airport without looking like a total tourist (impossible). I'm picturing myself as some seasoned traveler, cooly strolling to baggage claim. Reality? Probably me tripping over my suitcase and yelling, “WHERE’S THE DAMN METRO EXIT?!” Seriously, I always forget which direction to walk.
- Mid-Morning (Vague-ish): Check in at the Holiday Inn Express. Pray for a decent view (maybe not the HVAC unit). Immediately need to find coffee. Like, urgent coffee. This is my first real test of a Holiday Inn Express. Is the water pressure terrible? Will the room be freezing? Will the wifi work?! (I need my Instagram, people!)
- Lunch (Sometime): Okay, here's where things get off-the-rails. I intended to research a cool, local lunch spot, but procrastination got the best of me. Going to aim for a food truck situation. The whole "street food" thing feels edgy. Probably end up with a soggy hotdog and regretting everything.
- Afternoon (Monument Madness): The National Mall! Gettysburg address. Lincoln memorial. WANT to feel inspired. ANTICIPATE a lot of sweating and whining. (I hate walking. But I love history. It's a conflict). Gonna try to brave the crowds. Prepare myself for the inevitable picture of me yelling "IS ANYONE ELSE HOT?!" at the Lincoln Memorial statue.
- Evening (Pizza and Political Fatigue): Find a pizza joint, preferably one that delivers (so, less walking!). Collapse onto the hotel bed and try to sort through the day's events. Probably end up watching something dumb on TV and falling asleep before the credits roll. The intense emotional reaction, I’m betting, will be something like, “Wow, walking is hard and the American democracy is also confusing.”
Day 2: Museums, Meltdowns, and Maybe Some Art
- Morning (The Smithsonian…Or Bust!): The National Museum of Natural History. Dinosaurs! Gotta see the Hope Diamond! Fully expect to be overwhelmed by the sheer stuff. Hope I don't get lost in the Hall of Mammals and trigger a full-blown existential crisis. Definitely going to need a sensory-friendly break. Probably buy some overpriced souvenirs.
- Mid-Morning (Art Attack?): The National Gallery of Art. Fine. I'll give it a go. I’m not a huge art person, but I'll pretend to appreciate the brushstrokes. Praying I don't accidentally touch anything and get yelled at by a security guard.
- Lunch (Sandwich of Sadness?): Ugh. Another food crisis. Maybe I'll try to pack a sandwich. Probably forget the bread. Or the mayo. Or both. Will end up eating chips for lunch.
- Afternoon (Capitol Hill Chaos): The United States Capitol Building. Might be interesting, might be horribly boring. Hoping for a good tour guide. Hoping for some actual insight, instead of mind-numbing politics, or whatever.
- Evening (A Restaurant…Maybe): Okay, I really need to make a reservation somewhere good. Or, I'll just give up and eat vending machine snacks in my room. The emotional rollercoaster awaits! Maybe a fancy cocktail or two to make me forget all the walking I’m doing.
Day 3: Farewell (And the Dread of Packing)
- Morning (Last-Minute Panic): Check out of the hotel. Curse the fact that I didn't pack properly. Realize I bought way too many souvenirs (and definitely didn't forget my reusable grocery bag). Wonder how I’m going to fit it all into my suitcase.
- Mid-Morning (One Last Hurrah): Do something I missed. Maybe a quick visit to the International Spy Museum or the National Archives. If I am honest, I’m kinda bored.
- Lunch (The Final Meal): Grab a quick (and hopefully less disappointing) lunch near the airport.
- Afternoon (Departure Disaster): Head to the airport. Pray my flight isn't delayed. Start planning my next trip (after I recover from this one). The emotional reaction is probably going to be a mix of "Thank God, I survived" and "Wow, that was exhausting, but also kinda fun. I love/hate Washington."
Unforeseen Events (Guaranteed):
- Getting lost on the Metro. (A definite possibility).
- Overspending on something completely unnecessary.
- Having a dramatic craving for something specific… that I can’t find.
- Encountering a really grumpy tourist (or becoming one myself).
- Complaining (a lot).
- Actually having a pretty good time.
Important Notes:
- This whole thing is subject to change based on my mood, the weather, and how many naps I need.
- I'm probably going to be ridiculously tired.
- My phone battery will die at the worst possible moment.
- Expect a LOT of typos.
So, there you have it. Wish me luck. And maybe send wine? I'll need it. This is going to the most beautiful, chaotic, and utterly human trip ever!
Escape to Paradise: Meaco Royal Hotel, Lipa Batangas Awaits!
So, is this Holiday Inn Express *really* the "BEST" of Downtown DC? (Don't hold back!)
"Best"? Woah there, slow your roll. "Best" implies opulent rooftop bars and turn-down service with tiny chocolates. This, my friends, is a functional hotel. "Best" in the sense of "perfectly decent, given the location, and doesn't try to fleece you like a Georgetown boutique." It's the kind of "best" you settle for and then tell yourself you're happy about it. Okay? Look, DC hotels are EXPENSIVE. This is relatively... sane. Let's say it's the best **VALUE** in the Downtown core.
The Location! How's the location, *really*? Is it as advertised?
Listen. The brochure says, "steps from the National Mall!" Okay. Maybe if you have *really* long legs and a severe lack of baggage. It's not *right* on the Mall. It's within a brisk, slightly sweaty twenty-minute walk. Which, depending on the DC humidity (dear god, the humidity), can be anything from "mildly inconvenient" to "I'm melting, send help." But the *Metro* access? Solid. The proximity to… well, everything? Absolutely. You are *there*. You're in the thick of it. Which, for me, meant I could stumble back after a late night at a dive bar, and that’s worth its weight in gold. Or at least, a decent room rate in DC.
The Free Breakfast? Is it the usual sad cereal, or is there *hope*?
Right, the breakfast. This is where things get... interesting. It *is* free. It does offer the usual suspects: sad cereal, slightly rubbery scrambled eggs that might be made from actual eggs (jury's out), and those pre-packaged sugary muffins that are strangely addictive. The coffee? Drinkable. But listen, I'm a sucker for a good breakfast buffet. One morning, I swear, I witnessed a full-blown breakfast brawl over the last sausage patty. A *sausage patty*. It was glorious. And then there were those times… you know, where you can't get a seat? That's a fun time. All in all, you'll be okay. Don't expect Michelin stars, but you definitely won't starve. And the waffle maker? A lifesaver. Embrace the carb overload.
Okay, the *Room*. Clean? Comfy? What’s the story?
The room? Alright, let's be honest. It felt like every other Holiday Inn Express room I've ever been in. Which, statistically, is a LOT. Clean? Yes. But "clinical clean", you know? Like, they've blasted it with disinfectant and given it a once-over. Comfy? The bed? Yes. A good, solid hotel-chain bed. I slept great. The pillows, though... typical hotel pillows. They're either too flat or too massive. There's no in-between. I had to fold mine in *half* to get any neck support. And the view? Uh, it overlooked… another building. Not exactly scenic. But hey, I wasn't there to gawk at the architecture, I was there to, uh, work. And sleep. Yes, mostly sleep.
Tell me about the *staff*. Are they friendly or just going through the motions?
Okay, the staff! This is where the Holiday Inn Express actually *shines*. Seriously. They were ridiculously nice. Like, above-and-beyond nice. I witnessed a front desk clerk patiently explain the Metro system to a confused tourist for a good ten minutes. Ten minutes! They were helpful, cheerful, and genuinely seemed to *care*. There’s that, and then there was the time I had a minor crisis (lost my keycard, locked myself out, etc.), and the guy at the front desk not only fixed it but cracked a joke about it (thank GOD, I needed that). Really, the staff elevates the whole experience. They're the unsung heroes of this whole operation. Give those folks a raise! (And maybe an extra waffle).
Any MAJOR gripes? Anything that nearly made you lose it?
Okay, here's the truth. The AC. The AC. *The AC*. It was a battle. It was either OFF (and I was sweltering), ON BLAST (and freezing), or somewhere in between, making this awful, sputtering, wheezing noise. One night, I swear it sounded like a dying robot. I called the front desk. They sent someone up. He tinkered, it got better for a while, and then… back to the robot noises. Honestly, AC is a gamble in a lot of older buildings in DC. So, yeah, that nearly did me in. And the elevators one day were taking 5ever. But a minor inconvenience, really. Nothing that will ruin your trip. Mostly just make you slightly cranky.
Would you stay there *again*? The big question!
Yes. Absolutely. I mean, if I needed to be in Downtown DC, and if the price was right? Definitely. The location is fantastic, the staff are angels, and the bed, despite the pillow situation, was comfy. Yeah, the AC is a gamble, the breakfast is a lottery, and the views aren't breathtaking, but overall? It's a solid, reliable, and relatively affordable option in a city where "affordable" is a unicorn. Plus, the location means you can get to everything without spending a fortune on Ubers. And let’s be honest, the waffle maker… is calling my name. So, yeah. I'd go back. Just maybe bring my own pillow. And earplugs.
